Such a big word that holds so much meaning. Happy, sad, miserable, or ecstatic. Our emotions and moods can run the gamut, depending on what our expectations are in any given situation.
Just look at the “real” reason you are upset or happy in any given situation. Are you feeling badly about yourself or a situation? That usually comes down to an expectation not realized, either with yourself or with someone else. If you are ecstatic, was your expectation much less then the reality of the situation?
Painful as it may be, when I dig deep to look at certain choices that I’ve made, it’s my own expectations that have hurt me. Was my expectation too high? Was the reality of achieving the goal to crazy or impossible? Was it that I had set up a meeting, call, or trip and my expectations fell short of the reality? Did someone follow-thru with what I thought would happen or totally floor me with the opposite response, good or bad? Remember the “good and “bad” is just your perception. That’s a whole other topic!
I guess the most important thing to remember is that we have the control to choose our expectations. Just like it is in our control to deal with our perceived negative repercussions of expectations not realized. We can either, except responsibility for our actions and for having X expectations about the circumstances; or we can blame outcomes on someone or something else which is really, I think, a cop-out.
My question is…..Why would you want to act like a victim? Like something was done to you? How disempowering is that? Granted, there are times when you don’t have any control over a situation but it’s all in your handling, your reaction to the outcome where the “gold” of who you are really is. Because, let’s face it, how we show up in the world, our actions, our non-actions……are all reflections of who we really are. It’s our choice to show up and handle things in which ever way is our true self.
And one more thing….I feel we must find the capacity for forgiveness, forgiveness for others, as well as ourselves. That’s a big one. If you feel you made a mistake, if you were hurt by someone or you hurt someone and you continually beat yourself up for it, what good could possibly come from that? Life is too short….GET OVER IT!
So I guess the best thing to have is no expectations at all. This is difficult to say the least. If we are not attached to an outcome and just allow the “flow of life” to happen……we could be pleasantly surprised. Besides, most expectations are based on past experience and we all know that old adage “the past does not equal the future…..” Except when it does. (Did I actually say that after all this?) Ok, I need to let it go and get over it!
Blessings and Happy Wishes for the Coming Year!
40s Goddess Veronica Crystal Young